One night, God spoke to a preacher to tell him what he wanted him to do. After God had briefed him on his mission, the minister decided to ask him a question. "God," he said, "What is heaven like?" God replied, "Well, normally I don't tell people this, but since you are my servant, I guess I can tell you. Heaven will be like a city. It will have the best of everything. For example, the French will be the chefs; the Italians will be the lovers; the English will be the policeman; the Germans will be the mechanics; and the Dutch will be the politicians!" The man looked pleased. "What is hell like?" he asked. "Well," he said with a sigh, "the French will be the mechanics; the Italians will be the politicians; the English will be the chefs; the Germans will be the policemen; and the Dutch will be the lovers."
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt. - zobacz
Why did the Aggie think the weatherman got the sunny forecast wrong? -The Aggie drove through a car wash - zobacz
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman, he says, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." The foreman then shrugs his beefy shoulders and says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a good dent in that pile of sand by the time I get back." A few hours later when the foreman returns, he sees that the pile of sand is still untouched. Pointing to the pile of sand, the forman says to the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom. You tella the Chinesea guy he inna charge of a supplies, but hea disappeara, and I coulda no finda him!" Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and asks, " Didn't I tell you to shovel that sand?" The Scotsman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did, laddie, but I couldna get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinee in charge of supplies, but I couldna find him!" The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand, looking for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!" - zobacz
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?" - zobacz
A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says ''Now tell me a sentence using all three words.'' The Mexican says ''I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?" - zobacz